At the heart of Change

 

The counselling model I use in my coaching practice was co-created with my colleague Dana daPonte.  It was through our mutual desire to understand our emotional pain and end our negative patterns, that this model was created. It has evolved and changed over the years but at the heart of the model is this key viewpoint:  there is a Cycle of Emotional Pain that is responsible for creating many of the struggles within relationships and in life, in general. 

 

There are three important components that blend together beautifully to make my counselling model a super effective and super simple form of therapy that has the potential to break The Cycle of Emotional Pain and create lasting change.  

 

 

1. Emotional Awareness

 

As a Life Management Skills Coach, I was trained to help people identify, express and manage emotions as a way of decreasing emotional pain and increase an overall sense of peace, joy and happiness.  The Life Skills Program was originally designed to help people who were incarcerated and/or people who couldn't function successfully in society deal with the suppressed emotional pain that was at the root of most of the negative choices they made in their lives.

 

What I realized, as time went on, was that most people have emotional pain caused by childhood trauma ~ not just people with severely traumatic childhoods.  Trauma can vary in degree and severity, but even 'mildly' traumatic events have the potential to create difficulties in relationships and negative patterns.  Understanding how childhood trauma causes unmet emotional needs and linking those elements to current relationship challenges and negative patterns is how I help people break their Cycle of Emotional Pain.  It's an extremely effective form of therapy that stands apart from other forms of therapy.   

 

My goal is to help you understand how your unresolved emotional pain has been creating the problems in your relationship and/or how it has been creating a negative pattern you have found yourself stuck in.  And, with guided direction and practice, my program will help you meet your unmet emotional needs which will help create ~ what a lot of people describe as ~ a newfound sense of peace and empowerment.  Dealing with unresolved emotional pain will not only improve your current difficult situation but it can potentially improve your health and restore an overall sense of well-being.

 

Once you understand what is at the root of the challenges you face ~ the unresolved emotional pain ~ it will change how you look at your entire life, not just your relationships.  And when you discover that there is one (yes one!) unmet emotional need at the root of all the uneasiness you feel in every area of your life, it makes solving problems much simpler and less overwhelming than believing you need multiple solutions for multiple problems.

 

Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on our lives in ways we may not even realize but it is my goal to uncover the emotional root underlying your challenges and set you on a healing path.

 

 

2. A Course in Miracles  

 

You may or may not know anything about A Course in Miracles and that's ok.  What you might like to know is that, as a long time student of ACIM, applying the concepts in the Course has literally changed how I relate to everyone in my life and how I look at problems. 

 

Learning and applying concepts like mirroring, projection, attachments and forgiveness have helped me unplug from a victim mindset where it feels like everything is happening to me and is out of my control, to an empowered mindset where I know that I am responsible for how I feel and what I do in my life.  I no longer have to rely on others to behave a certain way or for circumstances to be 'just right' in order for me to feel like I have a sense of empowerment in the situation.  

 

The concepts in ACIM helped me tap into an inner power I hadn't accessed before and were key in helping me grieve the murder of my sister, process the emotional pain of my divorce and end my negative relationship pattern. 

 

I'd love to pass on the things I've learned from The Course in the past 20 years, onto you.  Making these concepts easier for you to understand and apply to your specific situation would feel really rewarding ~ I'd love to make things a little easier for you. 

 

3. Focused Conversation

 

Breaking my own Cycle of Emotional Pain came from my relentless need to understand the emotional root cause of my own relationship struggles, my love of A Course in Miracles and my passion for deep and profound conversations. Through thoughtfully focused and directed conversations, I will help you unravel the challenges that previously left you feeling mystified and stumped.   

 

In a Nutshell...

   

Combining the emotional awareness component of The Life Skills program with the powerful concepts found in A Course in Miracles and using focused conversation to uncover the emotional pain at the root of your challenges, you will gain access to a powerhouse counselling model and break The Cycle of Emotional Pain.  

I believe the very things that are causing you the most discomfort ~ your heartaches, frustrations, disappointments, fears and worries ~ can each be a doorway to powerful self-discovery.

 

Through understanding your deepest desires, helping you decode your emotions, using kind and gentle conversations, and supporting you every step of the way, my goal is to help you not only resolve your relationship challenges and/or end your negative patterns but finally address the old wounds that have potentially been creating a sense of unhappiness and disharmony your whole life.  

 

 

The Cycle of Emotional Pain

Whether you are struggling in your relationship or need help breaking the negative pattern you find yourself stuck in, my goal, as always, will be to help you understand how The Cycle of Emotional Pain has created the challenges you face and then provide strategies that will help you heal your emotional pain so the issues can be resolved. 

 

The first phase of our work together will answer the questions, "Why are things the way they are?"  "Why am I the way I am?"  "Why am I facing the challenges I am facing?"  It is impossible to fix a problem when you don't know what is causing the problem and so the goal of the first phase of our work together will be to identify to the root of the issue, once and for all.  

 

The goal of the second phase of our work together will be to provide strategies that will break The Cycle of Emotional Pain and actually resolve the issues you are facing whether they are issues in your intimate relationship or whether they relate to your negative pattern.  Awareness only goes so far. Meaning, understanding why we are the way we are won't resolve the problem, addressing the root issue is what is required to solve the problem and the Breaking the Cycle phase is designed to do just that.